Staying confident in bed can be a harder task than one might think, and people may not feel confident in bed for a variety of reasons, such as bad sexual experiences in the past, dissatisfaction with their body shape or sex organs, insecurity or going through a major life change, to name a few. Being sexually confident in bed not only allows for a better experience, as well as embracing a sexier side of yourself.
Why is it important to be confident in bed?
1. Being more aware of your boundaries
Having confidence in bed can better help you establish boundaries. Being clear about what you like and what you don't like. It allows you to be more confident in expressing and talking about sex with your partner. You can improve your sexual experience and protect yourself at the same time.
2. No more nervousness
Being confident allows you to be more open with your partner and express yourself in bed, both in terms of feedback from your partner and in terms of enjoyment. It won't make you get caught up in negative thoughts and make your body and mind tense and uncomfortable.
3. Change the way you think about sex
Sexual confidence can change the way you think about sex, giving you a more positive attitude and view of it. Reducing shame about sex allows you to express sex naturally as well as express your desires.
4. Increase the sense of identity
Perhaps part of the people think that only have a good-looking body, or sexual organs and other factors, can be confident in bed. But this is not actually the case, only people with sexual confidence will be more accepting of their own, more tolerant of themselves. Not because of external standards, and let themselves produce anxiety, uneasy emotions and thoughts. It's the way to develop the building blocks of self-love and become more confident in bed.
How to stay confident in bed?
1. Communication is the foundation of everything
Communication is important, whether you want to enhance your sexual experience or solve problems in your relationship, communication is the foundation. Communication can help each other better understand preferences, as well as things and boundaries that you want to try. Good communication not only leads to a better understanding of each other, but also brings them closer together and enhances their relationship.
2. Know your preferences
Being sexually confident allows you to better explore what you want to try and stay in communication. What turns you on more, sexual fantasies, BDSM, role-playing, pornography, etc. Be adventurous, take your time, don't push beyond your comfort zone and respect each other's boundaries.
3. Keep a positive and open mind
Keeping an open and positive mindset about sex allows us to feel comfortable talking about it without feeling ashamed about it. Talking better about each other's desires and sexual wishes makes us more confident.
4. Bring in roles
Try to put yourself into a favourite, confident role and imagine yourself as him.
5. Sexy outfits on the bed
Sexy outfits can be an added bonus. Wearing outfits that you feel sexy in will not only increase your sexual confidence, but will also show off your sexy side better. For example, wear sexy backless dresses, lingerie sets, or uniforms. Pick your favourite outfit according to your preference and you can show off your confidence and sexiness better.
6. Play sexy music
Sexy music not only creates a sense of ambience and mobilises your emotions, it makes you more aroused, enhances your libido and immerses you more in the enjoyment of it. Learn about each other's music preferences and make a sexy music playlist that is unique to you and each other.
7. Dim the lights
Dimming the lights in your bedroom can ease anxiety and tension, making you more comfortable and able to focus more on sex. And dim lights can also increase the sexy atmosphere, relieve the factors that make you not confident, you can show yourself better in bed.
8. Appreciate your body
Although the aesthetics is diversified, the popular trend is always changing, so you don't have to care about the current aesthetic standard, and don't deliberately attach to it. Find what you are most comfortable with in your body, and appreciate your body for what it is.
Finding out what makes you feel unsure or insecure can better help you build your confidence. You can exercise and workout to help you get the body that makes you more confident. If your body is healthy and strong, appreciate it and think about what it can bring to you, not just appearance.
9. Perfection is a scam
There is no such thing as perfection, and striving for it can cause you to gradually lose yourself in the process. At the same time, perfection will also further deepen the sense of anxiety and bring more pressure on yourself. Please be more tolerant of yourself and be more empathetic.
10. Seek help
If sexual confidence is affecting your life, or if you can't change things personally, seek help from a third party, such as a psychologist or sex therapist. This is important, don't feel ashamed about it, it's normal behaviour.